


Mandatory Coffee Break

by AughtPunk



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Also Evil Program Directors, Cept I didn't do Cecilos, Evil Robots Need Love Too, F/M, Positive Cecilos Fic Drive, my bad - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 17:57:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1397182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AughtPunk/pseuds/AughtPunk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just because Daniel the Strexbot is a biomachine programmed to be the new Station Management doesn't mean he has no feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mandatory Coffee Break

Daniel loved his job. He had to! He had been programmed to love every part of being Station Management. Everything from hiring new interns, to punishing current interns in the dark box, to properly disposing of old interns. Every day he stepped out of his charging station full of solar energy and the urge to make that day the most productive yet! But that being said there were a few things he disliked about his job. The first was the fact that he couldn't leave or enter the building without the help of someone who had blood. The second was how the floating kittens in the men's bathroom just wouldn't stop crying! Even though he himself never had to use the bathroom it was still kind of annoying. Ugh. Those damned soul-piercing cries echoing through the building did not help moral.

 His third problem was the worst of the three.

 "Don't let him get to you, Danny."

 Daniel didn't bother to look up from his coffee. He had detected Laureen's approach towards his office at least a good fifteen minutes ago. Which was odd, considering her office was directly next door to his. But she had this habit of standing in front of his door without opening it. Or pacing in front of it while wringing her hands. He had email his old scientist about it (in case Laureen's medication needed to be changed) but he was simply told not to worry about it. It must be one of those human things.

 "I'm sure he didn't really mean what he said. Or at least, normally he'd keep his yap shut about it. He's just distraught over the loss of his very imperfect pet." Laureen tapped her fingers against her arm. "Which is idiotic, considering our Strexpet is at least twenty-five times easier to take care of!"

 Daniel wanted to say that Laureen wasn't fooling anyone. Cecil clearly had it in for him since day one. He actually accused Daniel of having motor oil dripping out of his mouth! Did that radio host even know how much that hurt? He wanted to say that to Laureen, but his limited vocabulary worked against him.

 "Beep."

 "I know, right?" Laureen moved around to Daniel's side of the desk. "And then he repeated it on the air! I tried to request the local inefficient police to reprogram him, but, ugh..." She leaned against Daniel's desk right next to him. "Do you know what they said?"

 "Boop?"

 "That Cecil's comment didn't count as hate speech because biomechanical beings don't count as living beings in Night Vale. Ugh. The sooner we scrub away these damned old fashioned beliefs the better." She picked up Daniel's coffee and took a sip. He didn't stop her. After all, it wasn't like he could drink liquids. And it was sorta nice watching Laureen drink her mandatory six cups of coffee a day. Daniel liked how her lips pressed against the rim of the cup, leaving a faint ghost of her lipstick. It was one of the many things Daniel liked about Laureen.

 Er, the rest all being about what a great worker she was!

 "I could threaten his boyfriend again if you'd like." Laureen nudged Daniel's shoulder. "He did damage Strexcorp property. Maybe something about delivering Cecil a few lockets of that oh-so-perfect hair. Or we could bring in a life insurance company to discuss all of the various horrible things that could happen in a laboratory! Hmm. Or we can just chop off Carlos' ear and nail it to his desk."

 "Beepboop." Daniel shook his head. He was pretty sure Cecil didn't catch Laureen's thinly veiled threats the first time around. Or the second. Third. Half dozen that week.

 "You're right, Cecil clearly isn't the type to give in to threats. Such a shame he's so against progress. Don't worry, he'll come around. Everyone will come around. They always do in the end." Laureen smiled. It wasn't her Strexcorp mandatory smile. It was that soft, rare one that only a few got to see and live. Daniel liked that too. He watched as she finished his coffee tossed the red stained cup into the bin.

 "Anyway." Laureen reached down and placed her warm hand on top of Daniel's cold one. "Don't you listen to a word that pathetic excuse for a double says. There's nothing wrong with biomachines! Just because they're made of metal, and plastic, and unspeakably dark magic doesn't mean they're any less of a person! It's his loss if he never appreciates you the way that I do."

 Daniel lifted his head, causing a few gears to groan. "Beep?"

 "I mean." Laureen gulped as she squeezed Daniel's hand. "I'm really into robotics these days."

  Daniel's mouth hung open. All of his programs dealing with human interaction had no suggestions on the proper course of action. Well. There was one non-Strexcorp approved program that had a few answers, but he had a feeling that they were a bit forward for this situation. Not to mention the flimsy old desk probably wouldn't be able to support them both. He must have taken too long to respond because Laureen pulled her hand away.

 "I-I should get back to work." She flashed her normal forced smile at him. "Don't want to extend my five minute break to six minutes! S-See you around, Danny." With that she slipped out of his office, leaving the poor robot a little stunned.

 Even with his top-of-the-line programming Daniel had a hard time understanding humans. He didn't understand why interns kept applying for a job here despite the fatal turnover rate. He didn't understand how Cecil could mourn a cat and not a Strexpet. But most of all he couldn't understand how Laureen could look so sad while smiling. Did he do something wrong? It felt like he did something wrong.

 No. He didn't make a mistaken. He did something far worse in the eyes of the company.

 He let opportunity slip by.

The desk shattered into splinters as Daniel slammed it against the far wall. The door to his office went down with a well placed kick as he ran out of the room. The carpet slipped around under his feet, exposing the old orange-juice-shaped-void on the floor. He lept over the small yet infinite abyss and landed right next to Laureen, who had barely made it five steps out of the office. She turned to face him just as he swept her up in his arms and gave her a non-regulated kiss.

 Time froze around them. It wouldn't have been the first time that happened.

 Daniel could feel Laureen's arms move around him to tug him closer. She didn't stop the kiss. In fact, she continued it with a few more, letting each one linger longer than the last. Finally her frail human lungs broke for air. She looked up at Daniel, her eyes shining with the sort of happiness that didn't come in pill form. Daniel opened his mouth and knew exactly what to say.

 "Beepboop."

 Daniel closed his mouth. Maybe he could sneak off to the sand wastes and self destruct before Laureen could reply. Yes, that sounded like a great plan. He went to remove his arms from around Laureen only to find that her's were still wrapped around him.

 "Oh, Danny..." Her cheeks turned a shade of pink that matched her lips. Daniel wondered if there was that same ghost of colors on his lips as well. She took a step back, but took his hands into her own. "You know, I haven't done my afternoon chants yet. Would you like to join me?"

 Daniel nodded. Speaking was never his strong point.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to join in with the Positive Cecilos Fic Drive and I, um, did it wrong.
> 
> Not beta'd, so BEWARE


End file.
